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Sophie (@lesbianandcreativemother) is a single mum living with her four-year-old daughter in Avondale, Auckland. She has just started a new full-time job as a customer service manager, after being on a benefit while raising her daughter. Sophie has recently experienced a huge change in how she manages her money. Her old “bury my head in the sand” approach is now out the window and she’s saving to buy her own home for herself and her daughter. This is a snapshot of where she’s currently at.
Name: Sophie.
In my household, there is: Me and my four-year-old daughter.
Location: Avondale, Auckland.
Income: I feel like many people don’t see the reality of what solo parents survive on. Up until the point of starting my new job, I received $730 in benefits from WINZ and $36 in Working For Families tax credits. My ex pays child support, but this would go straight to the government to go towards the sole parent support that I receive. This was an incredibly tight time for my daughter and me. Something as small as a flat tire could sweep us under.
With my new job, I’m on $75,000 per year and am paid $1075 after tax per week. This is a huge jump up from what we lived on the benefit, and it will change our lives. Although I’d like to be at home with my daughter while she’s small, I have to go to work so that we can afford to live.
Expenses: I have a spreadsheet that tracks my income and expenses every, single week. Right now, our expenses are approximately $924 per week. Rent is $450 for a two-bedroom unit, which includes water. We don’t have a washing machine, so I spend $15 per week at the laundromat, and my phone is $50 per month. Internet is $65 per month and petrol is about $60 per week. My daughter and I are both lactose-intolerant, and I’m also gluten-free, so our grocery budget each week is $120. I have a personal loan from my dad which was to purchase my hybrid car, and I pay him back $50 per week. I have a Patreon membership which costs $10 per month. This is really important to me because this community is my village. Daycare costs $120 per week too.
I manage all these expenses by setting small amounts of money aside each week so that I’m not hit with big bills as the costs arise. For example, I put aside $15 for my phone each week and $30 - $40 for power each week (which is cheaper as I pay in advance with Powershop). I also set aside $50 each week for insurance (contents, car, and health), which means we can claim back GP visits, allergy tests, etc.
Before beginning my new job, our expenses were greater than my income. They were about $774 per week, which was just a smidge over the $766 that would be in my account each week. We were living paycheck to paycheck and had literally zero wiggle room. We couldn’t afford for anything to go wrong.
Debt: My only debt is a personal loan that I got from my dad so that I could buy my hybrid car. He doesn’t charge me interest - I’m very lucky! I paid off and canceled my credit card about four months ago. This was when I had a big reality check with my finances and started using a spreadsheet to budget. My credit card kept me stuck in a cycle. Now I’m able to put any extra money towards our savings rather than credit card repayments.
Savings: I have $1100 in a savings account.
Investments: My KiwiSaver is currently sitting at $30,700. Before my daughter was born, I was contributing to it at 8% because my expenses were minimal. This will now continue to grow because of my new job.
What would you do if you needed money in an emergency? Honestly, I’d ask my parents or my sister. My parents weren’t in a position where they could help for a long time, as they had six kids at home when I was growing up. It was very hard for them to make ends meet. My dad worked two jobs and my mum was sick for a long time, before eventually being able to work at the weekends. Now they don’t have any kids at home and are in a far more stable financial position.
How would you describe your financial situation? It has been so stressful. I think about money every, single day. I’m so aware of how it impacts me and my daughter. My ex-partner is in a very good financial position and that can sometimes feel frustrating, as I’m the one who is raising our daughter and struggling to live on the bare minimum.
Do you feel in control of your finances? Yes! Ever since I started using spreadsheets to track my money and budget, I’ve felt in control. Before all of that, back when I had a credit card, I just wouldn’t look. I’ve since realized that I need to get it all sorted out, as I want to buy a house in the next 12 - 24 months. This is the goal that I’m working towards, so having control over my money is crucial.
Any money regrets? The biggest one would be my wedding. I have endometriosis and felt a lot of pressure to rush into marriage and have kids because I wasn’t sure what would be on the cards in the future. So I ended up getting married at 23 and we spent $20,000 on the big day. In hindsight was an awful lot of money, especially considering our relationship didn’t work out. I don’t regret our honeymoon though. I’d like to get married again one day, but would want a very low-key, within-our-means type wedding. We have a quiet ceremony, and then everyone brings a plate to share after, you know?
What was money like growing up? It was pretty tough, but I didn’t fully realize the extent of it all at the time. My parents worked so hard to make it fun and to keep the family afloat. We’d make Christmas presents ourselves and stuff. My mum struggled to feed everyone until my older siblings left home. It’s only since becoming a parent myself that I fully realize how hard it was for them.
Toughest financial situation: During Covid, I got into both credit card and personal loan debt. I had to borrow money from my daughter’s future account because the interest was too high, and I couldn’t meet repayments otherwise. I never want to do that again. I’ve since repaid her account and I’m so glad that she’ll have a safety net growing up.
Proudest financial moment: Getting my new job. I went into the interview with the absolute maximum confidence. I asked for $75K per year, and I got it! I don’t have to rely on my daughter’s dad at all, and we can save for a house. I’m so proud to be fully supporting myself and my daughter.
Best financial advice: Do a spreadsheet every, single week. It changed my life. I was burying my head in the sand before that. Do the spreadsheet even if it’s uncomfortable and annoying. Having a big goal can also help. I changed the name on my bank account to “house deposit”. That means if I wanted to spend some money on dinner or something, I’d think twice because I’m literally taking it out of my house deposit.
About four months ago, there was a post in the Patreon group I’m part of which totally revolutionized how I deal with money. I put all my income and expenses into a spreadsheet for the first time and saw that I wasn’t making ends meet. I was burying my head in the sand, especially with my credit card. I also realized that I couldn’t get anywhere with being on a benefit. Since then, I’ve started making goals and planning how to reach them.
How do you think other Kiwis are doing financially? I think we’re all fucking struggling. Food, clothes, petrol, rent, everything! It’s so tough.
Where do you want to be financially? I’d like my daughter and I to be in our own home. I’d also like to be able to fund myself creatively. I write poetry and have also started my own Patreon to tell my coming-out story. I’d love to be able to build this up to a full-time income.